As I've stated numerous times now, transitioning back into life here in the states has been more of a challenge than I ever expected. The drastic difference between the lifestyles of people here in the states with those in Antigua, Guatemala is appalling... and enough to make me physically ill. Some of you are perhaps thinking that I am going to transition into how difficult it was to use outdoor bathrooms or trying to hone in on what on earth it was that I ate that allowed me the pleasure of contracting E. Coli.. but, that's not at all where I'm going. The current disgust that I feel is toward the the American lifestyle; the desire to consume, consume, consume and then consume some more. The socialization of always wanting more... at the expense of others.... as millions of people die each day due to the lack of a serving of rice or beans.
The week after our return, Fargo held its annual Spring Cleanup Week. As the piles of items accumulated on my city block, I began to become outraged... Perfectly good items- barbeques, washers, dryers, bicycles, snow blowers, couches, mattresses, wall hangings, holiday decorations; you name it.. it was on someone's curb, waiting to be picked up and hauled away to the landfill. All of these items could have, for the most part, found a forever home at the local boys ranch or goodwill, but instead... laziness and convenience overcame residents and they simply hauled it to their front curb for disposal in the dump.
As I saw these endless piles of items, all I could think was how the money that it took to purchase these items could save thousands of lives in Guatemala. If people simply thought about their global neighbors for even a minute a day, this world would be a very different place. And if people aren't able to control their urge to purchase things, the least that could have been done was taken a trip to the local thrift store in effort to assist others. I mean, what I saw on the curb of most homes amounted to double, and even triple of all posessions of Guatemalan families. It's disturbing, devastating, and sickening to know what American society has instilled into us as normal.
While we have a difficult time normalizing Guatemalans' use of bathrooms that are nothing more than a hole in the ground, I wonder what they'd think about our lifestyles. About the sheer ignorance for the rest of the world. For turning a cheek to hunger and poverty. On the flight home I thought about what it would be like for our build leader, Hector, to visit the states. All I could think was that he would be overcome with disbelief, anger, and resentment at the lives that we live. That we are profiting off of the work that those in third-world countries labor over. That life here isn't really blissful.. but, rather it's ignorant and apalling... that it's disturbing that the most we do is schedule out 10 days a year to travel to another country and work for a few days. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I think we've normalized American and Western consumerism and ideals far too much... and if we step back and look at it, it's perhaps the most disturbing culture of them all.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
an image can be a thousand words
As I was sorting through the images that my students took, I found this one. It is just a simple and quick picture that was snapped in a split second, without me even realizing it.... but, its presence has been cathartic and calming for me. Through this image, I am able to transport myself back to that instant toward the end of the journey, where I was in a very different place than when I arrived. My critical eye has analysis written all over it. My non-verbals are baring my true emotion; guarded, yet yearning for more, for a deeper understanding and awareness of it all. I simply found myself not being able to keep my eyes peeled enough through this journey. The fear of missing something pertinent or something that would connect the dots on in a theoretical perspective kept me hyper sensitive through the entire trip. In this picture I see anger, resentment, hope, fulfillment and inspiration.... to keep telling the stories of those who so openly embraced me in Guatemala.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Test, Test, 1, 2, 3
One of the hardest things about traveling for me is the last part; coming home. The reason for this is because even as I sit here trying my best to articulate my experiences, I succumb to the overwhelming notion that I simply can not portray the emotions that I felt in the limited and finite vocabulary that I have been provided. I become silenced by my own desire to speak and the realization that there is no way that what I felt, what I heard, what I did can ever be conveyed in mere language.
One of the things that I ground into my students is that they HAVE to learn how to talk about this experience. That it can't be an adventure that they just put up on the shelf with all their other vacations and trinkets from around the world. This experience is much more and therefore we are obligated to talk about the things that we witnessed/felt/did. The problem with this, is that it's incredibly difficult to talk about the feelings we had while there.
This is where I allow my patience to wear thin with myself. It's a test.... and one that I feel that I am currently failing miserably at. In the next four days, I am going to do my best to TRY to articulate how the wheels in my head were turning while serving in Guatemala.
One of the things that I ground into my students is that they HAVE to learn how to talk about this experience. That it can't be an adventure that they just put up on the shelf with all their other vacations and trinkets from around the world. This experience is much more and therefore we are obligated to talk about the things that we witnessed/felt/did. The problem with this, is that it's incredibly difficult to talk about the feelings we had while there.
This is where I allow my patience to wear thin with myself. It's a test.... and one that I feel that I am currently failing miserably at. In the next four days, I am going to do my best to TRY to articulate how the wheels in my head were turning while serving in Guatemala.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
my Leidy
Serendipity... it's a strange word that doesn't get used nearly enough.. perhaps because there aren't very many times when it is fitting for the occasion. I; however, experienced serendipity while serving in Guatemala and am eager to tell you about it.
This experience in Guatemala was incredibly different than last year's stay. I wasn't sure if anything could top last year's experience, but I think that this time around, I was more aware of what was going on and therefore it led to a much richer and more fulfilling experience. We did things that were different from the previous trip... things that were much more fulfilling and awe-inspiring. Those stories are yet to come.... they will... but for now, I must switch gears.
When we first got to the Dreamer Center on Monday, we had the opportunity to hang out with some of the kids for the afternoon. The area is incredibly lively, as there are hundreds of kids running around freely and happily. The center acts as a refuge from the violence, poverty and sadness that runs rampant in the streets of Guatemala. The center's beauty is indescribable if it's never been witnessed/experienced because not only is it visually beautiful, the significance that it holds symbolically to so many young people is more than it's physical worth. There was a young girl with a big beautiful smile that was running around with our students on that Monday afternoon. She was fun, and bright and really had something magnetic about her. The students played with her for much of the afternoon, and it wasn't until the next night that we learned of her home life. On Tuesday night, a group of us volunteered at the project's homeless shelter. We weren't expecting this beautiful little girl to run up and greet us when we got there. Leidy (pronounced Lady) had just showered and her hair was neatly combed. She wore her smile so wonderfully and joyfully. It made it hit home to all of us just how real it was for these kids in Antigua. Here was this wonderful little lady who was living in the homeless shelter... which is nothing more than a tile-floored room. There are no beds, no pillows, no blankets. There aren't doors on the showers and there aren't stalls for the bathrooms. The showers, toilets and wash facilities are all open air and completely visible to anyone within the center. It's humbling and heart-crushing to know where she goes each night.
We continued to see her as the week went on, and continued to thoroughly enjoy her company. The last day, when we were tying up loose ends, I was asked to come over away from the group for a minute. Victor, the service team coordinator, had my future sponsor child standing there with him. I had been prodding Victor for the entire time we were there telling him that I wanted to sponsor a child. I knew that I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to make it work... but, I knew I had to. The people of Guatemala have SO little and I have been blessed with SO much. The least I can do is give up some splurges to support a young girl's dreams of an education. Anyway, the girl that I saw when Victor brought me over to the girl with the most need, was Leidy. Standing there with her infectious smile and sweet face.... my heart melted and she just grabbed me and hugged me and held me for the next 20 or so minutes. It was incredible... I am so incredibly honored to be her "madrina" or her godmother, as they are called by the Nuestros Ahijados. I can't describe how wonderful it was to actually get to meet her and interact with her... she's truly an incredible little girl that I am so eager to get to know as the years go on. Today I packed up a little package for her and sent it back with some volunteers who happened to be in Fargo this weekend. Some stickers, bubbles, a couple new shirts.... and a picture of the two of us together. It's something so special... I strongly encourage you to change the life of a young child at the Center. If you're interested in sponsoring a child for about $28/month, please let me know... I guarantee you'll get as much out of the experience as you put in. I feel so incredibly grateful for my amazing experience with The God's Child Project.. It's truly a magical place where children are given the tools to succeed in life.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
exciting news
I recently found out that I am going to be inducted into the Tapestry of Diverse Talents at NDSU. This is an immense honor, as it recognizes the roll I've played in progressing diversity at NDSU. The induction ceremony will be on Friday, May 8th at noon. I am ecstatic to say that my entire family will be here, along with both grandmas :) I'm pretty excited about it. My photo will hang among these:
Saturday, April 25, 2009
summary
so, all of those updates that I had... I suppose I should get to them. I'll do my best; I'm trying to have a productive day, and this wasn't included in the checklist of chores... so, bear with me :)
First, the bill that I worked my ass off on failed miserably in the house. It was a mighty sad day for North Dakotans and I still can't quite get over it. The bill would have protected individuals who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender from being fired from their job or evicted from their home based solely on their identity as LGB or T. The arguments that were brought up against the bill were so juvenile, archaic and unjust that I can't even begin to describe them here. What I can say; however, was that I had the opportunity to be in the House Chamber when it was heard and voted on. The discussion lasted for well over and hour. One of the sponsors of the bill, Corey Mock, allowed me to sit with him and I can't say how grateful I am of this opportunity. He made an incredible speech that eloquently summed up the reasoning that this bill is a necessity in the state of North Dakota. I was proud to be a member of the "under 30" generation at that time. Even though we were extremely outnumbered in that chamber, we did the best we could to represent human rights, dignity, and equality. Corey also allowed me to push the "green" button at the time of the vote. I know this may not sound like a huge deal, but after you've worked for nearly 6 months every day trying to educate people and get them to send letters to their representatives and senators, that symbolic "button pushing" meant quite a lot. I'm thankful to have ended the journey like I did; it allowed for some closure and even though I can't say that I've quite moved on, it instilled a drive in me that I don't think I'll soon lose. I'm so grateful for the process that SB2278 exposed me to. It showed me how backward much of our government is, especially in ND. The fact that there is only 1 woman under 30 is sickening and that there are only 7 total individuals in the house and senate who are under 30 is even more devastating. These old white men are simply out of touch with their constituencies and even more frightening, the world. Involving myself in this process has forced me to consider running for office. I can't say when I'll do it, but I know I will. Someday I'll be sitting in that chamber and casting my votes for a more progressive and equitable ND.
Beyond that, things here were crazy with the flooding. We weren't in school from March 6 until April 6th... and that basically means that everything is being squished into the time remaining. It gets a bit difficult to teach (and learn) when things are so out of the ordinary. The water is receding and the flood threat has passed for Fargo; luckily without any major strife.
I've also been trying to get back into running. I used to run quite a lot in high school, but the drive and passion for it sort of passed. I tried to keep it up when I moved to Germany, but things just weren't the same there. And, obviously, since college, I have neglected to do this as well. I've slowly been making progress and am happy to say that two nights ago I ran 7 miles in 65 minutes. This may not seem like a very long way, but I am quite proud that I was able to accomplish the feat. I called Mr. Jeremy Tucker last evening and we collectively decided to run Grandma's Marathon together next summer. I think it will be a great goal to strive for.. and, it'll be some nice brother/sister bonding time :) I am super excited to continue the running outside in the nice weather. Every once in a while we get a nice day that teases us into thinking that we are going to actually have a spring.. I'm just waiting for the leaves to turn green and the grass to start coming back.
One last thing before I sign off... I have the privilege of leading another service team to Guatemala this May. We will be leaving on May 17 and returning on May 27. We are collecting items and if you are moved to give to this incredible cause, please let me know. This journey has been one that has most profoundly impacted my life. The ability to work with students for 4 months to unravel the intracacies of privilege, opression, poverty, and culture is inexplainable. I can't even say how happy and proud of my students that I am. They've truly demonstrated that they're slowing beginning to "get it." It can be overwhelming and unnerving to be exposed to the inequalities and atrocities in this world... and I commend them for working to understand how they can do their part to overcome them....
There are a million other things I could write about.. but for now, I must do some homework. Ta Ta my friends....
First, the bill that I worked my ass off on failed miserably in the house. It was a mighty sad day for North Dakotans and I still can't quite get over it. The bill would have protected individuals who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender from being fired from their job or evicted from their home based solely on their identity as LGB or T. The arguments that were brought up against the bill were so juvenile, archaic and unjust that I can't even begin to describe them here. What I can say; however, was that I had the opportunity to be in the House Chamber when it was heard and voted on. The discussion lasted for well over and hour. One of the sponsors of the bill, Corey Mock, allowed me to sit with him and I can't say how grateful I am of this opportunity. He made an incredible speech that eloquently summed up the reasoning that this bill is a necessity in the state of North Dakota. I was proud to be a member of the "under 30" generation at that time. Even though we were extremely outnumbered in that chamber, we did the best we could to represent human rights, dignity, and equality. Corey also allowed me to push the "green" button at the time of the vote. I know this may not sound like a huge deal, but after you've worked for nearly 6 months every day trying to educate people and get them to send letters to their representatives and senators, that symbolic "button pushing" meant quite a lot. I'm thankful to have ended the journey like I did; it allowed for some closure and even though I can't say that I've quite moved on, it instilled a drive in me that I don't think I'll soon lose. I'm so grateful for the process that SB2278 exposed me to. It showed me how backward much of our government is, especially in ND. The fact that there is only 1 woman under 30 is sickening and that there are only 7 total individuals in the house and senate who are under 30 is even more devastating. These old white men are simply out of touch with their constituencies and even more frightening, the world. Involving myself in this process has forced me to consider running for office. I can't say when I'll do it, but I know I will. Someday I'll be sitting in that chamber and casting my votes for a more progressive and equitable ND.
Beyond that, things here were crazy with the flooding. We weren't in school from March 6 until April 6th... and that basically means that everything is being squished into the time remaining. It gets a bit difficult to teach (and learn) when things are so out of the ordinary. The water is receding and the flood threat has passed for Fargo; luckily without any major strife.
I've also been trying to get back into running. I used to run quite a lot in high school, but the drive and passion for it sort of passed. I tried to keep it up when I moved to Germany, but things just weren't the same there. And, obviously, since college, I have neglected to do this as well. I've slowly been making progress and am happy to say that two nights ago I ran 7 miles in 65 minutes. This may not seem like a very long way, but I am quite proud that I was able to accomplish the feat. I called Mr. Jeremy Tucker last evening and we collectively decided to run Grandma's Marathon together next summer. I think it will be a great goal to strive for.. and, it'll be some nice brother/sister bonding time :) I am super excited to continue the running outside in the nice weather. Every once in a while we get a nice day that teases us into thinking that we are going to actually have a spring.. I'm just waiting for the leaves to turn green and the grass to start coming back.
One last thing before I sign off... I have the privilege of leading another service team to Guatemala this May. We will be leaving on May 17 and returning on May 27. We are collecting items and if you are moved to give to this incredible cause, please let me know. This journey has been one that has most profoundly impacted my life. The ability to work with students for 4 months to unravel the intracacies of privilege, opression, poverty, and culture is inexplainable. I can't even say how happy and proud of my students that I am. They've truly demonstrated that they're slowing beginning to "get it." It can be overwhelming and unnerving to be exposed to the inequalities and atrocities in this world... and I commend them for working to understand how they can do their part to overcome them....
There are a million other things I could write about.. but for now, I must do some homework. Ta Ta my friends....
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Happy Spring!!
I have lots of updates... but will get to them later this week.. For now, enjoy this photo from today's endeavors....
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